Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you win again, gameday.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize