It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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