help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
