Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
