I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
