My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
