I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
