So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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