He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
