I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
