Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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