I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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