Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You can't just leave with hair like that
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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