A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
