if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize