Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
