Ambien. No doubt about it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
