Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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