Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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