Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
