So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
