Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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