You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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