I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
