she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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