need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
