you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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