I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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