Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
