I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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