things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
