And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
