Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.