sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.