My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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