Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
