I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
