sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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