I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
