im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
