I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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