Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
