he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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