Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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