goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize