she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
