Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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