why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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