We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
