she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
