Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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