Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
