I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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