actually, I'm a sock model
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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