I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
