roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
