Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
