I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dicks are not precious.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
