looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
