Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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